Birthdays, weddings, graduations… we have celebrations for the most important days of our lives. Some people have ideas of exactly what they want their weddings to be like, however very few people make any plans for their funerals. If death is the only certainty in life, why don’t we plan our funerals to reflect the way we live our lives?
I’m a firm believer that all aspects of life should be a celebration. The way we treat death in America is incredibly interesting; we resist talking and thinking about it for as long as possible, and when the time comes, the family is given just a few days to sort everything out. There’s such a great deal of pressure dumped onto the surviving family after a death – not only to handle the deceased’s possessions, but to plan the wake and funeral services as well. What we’re left with are these cookie cutter funerals with the same balding funeral director, the same bouquet of flowers next to the casket, and you probably wear the same black outfit to every funeral too (hopefully you haven’t been to too many of these).
It’s so bizarre how most funerals just seem so… lifeless.
The message that each of these cookie cutter funerals telegraphs is: “What you did in your life didn’t matter. You died just like the rest of us.” I think this is the wrong message to send out.
There is magnificence, even in death.
A funeral should be like the last hurrah, a unique day to identify with the ephemeral beauty of our lives as well as to celebrate the life of the person who passed away. A funeral should be a special event – a sad, but also joyful one – where the attendees leave feeling reassured that this person mattered and I am thankful to have known them.
There are no rules for this. If you want people to dress sexy at your funeral, then go for it. Perhaps you want each attendant to bring home a playlist of all your favorite songs, or maybe you want your favorite food served to everyone present.
I challenge you to take 10 minutes to jot down some ideas on how you want to be remembered after you die and what you want your funeral to be like. Remember, if you write it in your will, your family basically has to do it! Just don’t require them to wear chicken costumes please.
Leave a comment down below! Have you ever participated in a funeral where you did something unique? How do you want to be remembered?
the wilky way 
I wish to be remembered as love and deep reflection.
I hope that all the seeds of wisdom and love that I share every day will continue to blossom and grow when I’m no longer a body in and of space and time.
I want my ashes spread out over the earth, in the wind, let it become one with the air and the fire. I’d like to have my body cremated in a sea of fire, have the ashes partly spread in the ocean where my mother’s remains are also flowing and in the Woods close to my family’s summer house and just let the Little particles of what was once me fly around in the air, travelling with the Wind, resting on the clouds, so weightless and infinitely free.
I would like my farewell ceremony to be full of the essential spirit that was me; love, wisdom and kindness. And I do have all the details written down about what songs, poems, profound writings and places I would like to be part of the ceremony.
What have you been thinking about your own last farewell?